Ballon Batsa

Menene ma'anar balloon batsa a gare ku?

Idan kai tsoho ne da gaske, zaka iya jin “batsa balo-balo” kuma ka tuna da tsohon aikin burlesque tun zamanin vaudeville, inda wata kyakkyawar yarinya ta fito kan fage sanye da komai ba face tarin balan-balan, kamar yadda yake a hoton da ke sama . Ta yi waƙa da lambar rawa, za ta sha wahala iri-iri na ban dariya, kuma balan-balan ɗin ta za su fara fitowa! A lokacin da ta tsallake matakin, za ta zama tsirara kwata-kwata, ko kuma tana ƙoƙari ta rufe farjinta da duka tsuntsayenta da gindinta da balon da ta bari. Ya kasance koyaushe mai faranta ran masu sauraro.

Amma ba mu da tsufa haka.

Kuna iya tunanin ina magana ne game da “ƙwarƙwara balo”. Wannan yana nufin abubuwa daban-daban ga mutane daban-daban. Na ga bidiyo - fiye ko modernasa da zamani - na kajin tsirara suna ta yin ballo tare da gindi. Har na tuna wani lokaci da na ga hotunan wata yarinya mara kyau wacce ta yi amfani da balan-balan guda biyu da baho na kayan zaki da aka daka don baiwa saurayin kwalliyar kwatankwacin aikin ta.

Abokaina, wannan ba batsa ce ta balan-balan da nake nan don in yi magana a yau ba. A'a, Ina magana ne game da ainihin shit. Ina magana ne game da gaske-in-the-gondola zafi-iska-ballooning, rataye-daga-kwandon jizzing-on-the-peasants batsa iri-iri. Ba za kuyi tunanin wannan ya taɓa zama abu ba. Ba za ku yi tunanin cewa wani mutum zai iya samo shi ba ko kuma cewa uwargidansa za ta “bar shi duka a waje” a cikin irin wannan salon. Za ku zama, a cikin kalma, kuskure.

Na dauke ku yanzu zuwa rana mai sanyi a wani wuri a tsakiyar Turai. Wadannan hotunan sun bayyana ne a cikin wata mujallar batsa ta kasar Jamus a shekarar 1984. Kwalliyar kwalliyarmu ta maza ta kawo wa uwargidansa fure, wacce take makale da layin gondola saboda ta san tana shirin amfani da hannayenta don wani abu mafi muhimmanci fiye da soyayya mai cike da annashuwa:

Babu wani abu kamar wuyan wuyansa da kuma matsi mai yawa don samun abokan tafiyarku cikin sauri a cikin yanayi irin na jima'i!

Ita, a gefe guda, ta san cewa mafi kyawun nau'in wasan kwaikwayo na mutum shi ne yin rudu da tsotsa a kan dick.

A cikin lokaci kaɗan ta jefa ƙafa a kan layin dogo don ya shagala da ita. Kai, tambaya mai sauri: shin waɗancan diddige masu kaifi da gaske duk abubuwan da za su iya amfani da su a cikin saƙar saƙƙen baƙin balanda gondola?

Dokar aminci a cikin jirgin ruwa shine koyaushe kuna da hannu ɗaya “don jirgin” da kuma hannu ɗaya don kanku. Dole ne ya zama ɗaya a cikin balan-balan, a'a? Ya sami hannayensa biyu akan layukan balan-balan don haka yana da lafiya safe amma ina ne ta wani hannun? Shin tana rike wani abu ne don kada ta fado?

Yayi, yanzu ta samu hannaye biyu a kan layukan amma cibiyar hankalinta ta riga ta wuce. Shin bai kamata ta sami layin aminci a wannan lokacin ba? Kuma watakila… kada ku raina? Ita tabbatacciya ce mai neman sha'awa, wannan!

Wannan yana kama da mummunan wasa. Samari, gwada gwada muku yarinya mai irin wannan yanayin nishaɗin. Amma zan ce “Ee” ga layin aminci. Mene ne idan ya yi fam da ƙarfi kuma ya tura mata gindi dama daga gefen wicker fa?

Yanzu tana samun mafarki a fuskarta. Shin ta kusa zuwa orgasm? Faransa ta kira hakan “La karama” da wani dalili. Idan idanunta sun sake jujjuyawa a cikin kansa kuma yatsun hannunta zasu kwance lokacin da ya zo, zai kasance “Le grand mort” wannan lokacin…

Phew! Da alama ta tsira daga wannan yanayin, kuma yanzu tana tsugune a kan dogo tana barin jirgin saman mu ya gama da ita harshensa a farjinta. A bayyane suke sun sami lokaci mai ban sha'awa, amma ban tabbata ba fiye da wannan farin cikin da zuciyata mara kyau zata ɗauka!

Abin hawa, samari, me hawa. Kuma bana magana akan balan-balan…