Shafin Shafin Gwal na Champagne

Da kyau, abokai, menene 2018 ya kasance! Kuma yayin da muke bikin zagayowar shekarar 2019 tare da shampen da kuma mafi shampen, tambaya ta tashi: abin da za a yi da kwalabe?

Ba zan iya tabbatar da hakan ba, amma ina hasashe cewa tun lokacin da Faransawa suka ƙirƙira ruwan inabi mai kyalli a cikin kwalabe masu nauyi tare da kwalabe marasa waya, mutane suna amfani da kwalabe marasa kyau a matsayin kayan wasan jima'i. kwalabe sun isa phallic tun kafin wurin hutawa * pop * na abin toshe kwalaba da guguwar farin kumfa. Wannan pop-and-gush koyaushe yana sanya jima'i a zuciyar kowa. Sai mu sha. Hana fara ƙafewa…

A lokacin da kwalabe suke fanko? Kai betcha wani yana samun wani abu ya tunzura su! A zahiri doka ce ta yanayi.

A duk faɗin duniya, mutane suna yin bukukuwan Sabuwar Shekara. Yawancin su, ina tsammanin, sun yi ado da kyau. Champagne ko a'a. Amma a lokacin da wani attajiri ne kawai a cikin daki mai ban sha'awa tare da ƙwanƙwasa ƙwanƙwasa da bokitin ƙanƙara da wannan kwalabe mai kyau kuma babu shaida ko kadan? Zata makale gindinta dai-dai da ita, eh zatayi, ta rufa mata baya cike da jin dadi. Bayan duk dole ku yi wani abu yayin da kuke jiran hidimar ɗaki don kawo wani kwalban:

Na kalli batsa da yawa a lokacina, kuma har yanzu ba ni da komai a hannuna. Na tuna wani faifan bidiyo da ya yadu akan hanyar sadarwa ta hanyar raba fayil-tsara-zuwa-tsara ta farko, asalin Napster-wato-shine, wanda aka shigar da karar a manta. A'a, ba don kiɗa kawai ba! Akwai wani sanannen fayil ɗin fim, a cikin wani tsari na RealMovie na baƙin ciki, na wani mutum yana girgiza kwalbar shampagne da babban yatsan sa a kan baki. Sa'an nan ya tura shi sama da rabin hanya sama ta farji a daya santsi motsi. Klulba ta tsaya, amma champagne ya sake fitowa a cikin wani kumfa mai fashewa wanda ya rufe komai, gami da ruwan tabarau na kamara. Kuma ... scene. Barka da sabon shekara!

Mu kara komawa cikin lokaci. Ni matashi ne, ina karanta littattafai masu datti da hannu ɗaya. Na tuna da wasu zage-zage da suka kama ni. Batsa ce ta BDSM ta Victoria ta karya, watakila ta Richard Manton ko wani irinsa. Na tuna musamman wannan yanayin nau'in orgy. Rakehells masu arziki da doxies ɗinsu sun kasance suna yin jima'i. Akwai kwalban shampagne, kuma masu fafutuka suna gudanar da gasa mai raɗaɗi. Wace yarinya ce za ta iya ƙara wuyan kwalbar zuwa rijiyar ta? Suna amfani da lipstick don nuna kwalban tsakanin gwaji, kuma akwai wani mummunan hukunci da ke jiran yarinyar da ta sami ci gaba kadan. Lube? Ta yaya cewa kasance wasa, eh menene, tsohon chap?

Wani lokaci, kuma, idan isasshen shampen yana gudana, kyakkyawar ƙungiya a kowane lokaci na shekara na iya rushewa cikin rashin hankali. Dama can a wurin. Idan aka yi la'akari da kyawawan madubai a bango da rashin daidaituwa na jinsi (maza hudu, mace ɗaya, kwalabe uku na bubbly) Zan yi tunanin cewa wannan bikin da aka kwatanta a kasa an shirya shi don tafiya ta wannan hanya. Ga alama yana faruwa a gidan karuwai, wanda zai sa matar ta zama ma'aikacin jima'i mai ƙwazo:

Duk inda kuka same shi, kodayake, bikin har yanzu jam'iyya ce. Kuma wannan yana kama da mai kyau.

A halin yanzu, kwalban shampen yana yin irin wannan abin sanya abun wasan yara na jima'i, ba za ku iya da'awar cewa ba karamar jarabta kuke ba. Amma ko kun sanya ɓangaren jima'i na bikin ku na 2019, ku sami Sabuwar Sabuwar Shekara!