It’s All About The Buttsex

In a modern sexually-busy relationship between a young man and woman, we hear, anal sex is almost as likely to be on the menu as blowjobs and pussy licking. To be precise, I’m talking about his dick in her ass; the other way around (with her using a silicone dick) is pretty common too — and good great fun! — but not part of today’s discussion.

Not to play graybeard here, but I’m old enough to remember when this kind of straight M/f buttsex was still incredibly taboo. It wasn’t talked about, it was rarely seen in porn, and it was thought to be mostly the resort of good Catholic wives who didn’t want too many children. The taboo was so strong, long ago, that a rumor about the poet Lord Byron fucking his wife up the ass while she was pregnant got turned into a poem by his enemies that still haunts his reputation 200 years later:

“Thy size repels me, whilst thy charms invite;
Then, say, how celebrate the marriage rite?
What sayst thou, dearest ? Do not cry me nay;
We cannot err where science shows the way.”
She answered not; but silence gave consent,
And by that threshold boldly in I went.
Quick from my mouth some bland saliva spread
The ingress smoothed to her new maidenhead…

I’ve already touched on two reasons people like this kind of anal sex: it reduces the risk of getting pregnant, and for some people it’s an option later in pregnancy than vaginal sex would be.

For additional reasons to like it, we can look to the taboo itself, even if the taboo is going away fast. When a sex thing’s taboo, the “thinking” goes, she won’t say yes to just anybody. Can you get her to say yes? Gosh, you must be special! Probably you are super-manly! Here’s that poem again:

So clever statesmen, who concoct by stealth
Some weighty measures for the comonwealth,
All comers by the usual door refuse,
And let the favoured few the back stairs use.

If she’s letting you “use the back stairs”, you must be among the favored few. Or so a certain sort of anal-sex-hound has long reasoned.

But all the best reasons for having any kind of sex are about the sheer pleasure of the thing, in my humble opinion. So we can’t talk about anal sex without talking about the sensations of it. An asshole is usually pretty tight, right? That can mean a firmer squeezing around a bored dick; for men, pushing into something tight rarely feels bad.

As for her, well, women don’t have prostates, and I’m not a woman, so I can’t claim to know what their experience of being anally penetrated is. But by all accounts, there’s a lot of novel sensations involved, and plenty of women enjoy the sensual pleasures of those sensations. (Some don’t, though; it’s a big world.)

What about pain, you ask? Buttholes can be tight, which creates the possibility of pain. Relaxation and lots of lube, though, make painless penetration achievable. If you want to do anal, but it hurts more than you want, be adamant! Make the action STOP until relaxation and lube levels have resolved your pain issues. It is possible, for anyone and everyone.

Nonetheless, if I’ve learned anything in sixteen years of sex blogging, it’s that for many people, pain is just another sex toy. She might enjoy painful anal sex because it lets her explore submissive BDSM-type feelings without having to do “kinky” stuff with whips and chains. He might enjoy making her whimper or cry out because (a) he’s a sadist or (b) he’s a bastard or (c) he’s no John Holmes in the dick-size department and it makes him feel absolutely massive when his dick brings tears to her eyes. There’s nothing wrong with being — or enjoying — a massive pain in the ass, as long as everyone is a consenting adult.

As for me, I’m just glad that all the pointless taboos of my youth are breaking down. I’m settling comfortably into the modern position that anything two or more adults consent to is just peachy. Knock yourself out, and wash up afterwards!