January 31, 2019
vintage comic illustration of a man shooting out an upper floor window as an enema ends badly

Under Pressure: Enema Porn

Between 1965 and 1975 a man named Michael Hubert Kenyon became infamous around the United States. The special crime that made him notorious? He liked to invade campus apartments and college dormitories to tie up female students at gunpoint. Once he had them in bondage, he’d administer enemas to them, […]
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January 15, 2019

Happy Porn Is Best Porn

Let me show you my favorite porn photo of all time. In it, the actress beams a thousand watt smile. She’s getting righteously fucked and she’s delighted! She looks like somebody just gave her the cutest puppy on the face of the earth: This favorite photo of mine comes from […]
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January 1, 2019
popping the cork on new years

Champagne Bottle Sex Toys

Well, friends, what a 2018 it has been! And as we celebrate the turn of 2019 with champagne and more champagne, the question arises: what to do with the bottles? I can’t prove it, but I speculate that ever since the French invented sparkling wine in heavy bottles with wired-down […]
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December 12, 2018
she lit up her ass like a christmas tree

Porn At Christmas

Do you still believe in Santa Claus? Are you still young enough to get excited about presents? Then you probably shouldn’t be reading this, sonny! Go back to bed! In this run-up to the Christmas season, I often reflect that the older we get, the less exciting Christmas becomes. Gifts, […]
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November 30, 2018
victorious vikings carry naked women ashore

Viking Porn Invasion!

Twelve hundred years ago, Vikings exploded out of Scandinavia and began scouring the rivers and coasts of Europe with an orgy of looting, kidnap, rape, and murder. (Not necessarily in that order, as the ancient joke goes. Wanna bet the joke itself is 1,000 years old?) The Viking party, and […]
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