“Your Tool… Is It Rigid?”
Every man loves a rigid tool. And every woman, too!
I know I’m always talking about how, back in the day, there wasn’t so much awesome porn. To hear me tell it, some days, the generations that included my father and grandfather had to get their jollies looking at erotic graffiti scratched on cave walls with a burnt stick.
In truth, it wasn’t that bad. But it was pretty terrible. Before the 1960s, actual explicit porn with dicks and pussies showing was pretty close to downright illegal in the USA, especially if you sold it across state lines. But that doesn’t mean our grandfathers didn’t enjoy plenty of sexy imagery. Pinup art — colorfully airbrushed girls wearing not so very much — was everywhere. And though never explicit, it was often brutally suggestive!
The pinup above is, in my opinion, the acme of the genre. The bodacious babe popping her tits out of a sexy work overall is riding that hard steel pipe wrench like it’s a dick, or a sex toy. And it’s even got that ridged nubbin pressing on her pussy, just like modern vibrators do. There’s nothing subtle about this porn imagery! It’s as hard core as you can get without downright nudity.
Of course, it wasn’t — theoretically — porn at all. It was advertising! The Ridgid Tool Company in the USA published a pinup calendar yearly for almost 80 years, ending just a few years ago. They hired the best pinup artists of their era and everybody involved was keenly aware of the “rigid” pun in the “Ridgid Tool” company name. The dick-stiffening pinups in this post are all by George Petty, perhaps the most famous American pinup artist ever. (He painted many pinup centerfolds for the men’s magazines of his day.)
Do you imagine that the pretty girl above, the one riding the cock-wrench with the clit stimulator, was somehow an innocent accident? Naw. It wasn’t. Here’s another calendar page showing a similar babe who seems open to — or at least in peril of — a stiff anal intrusion with that same wrench:
These calendars were distributed by the tool manufacturer through their salesmen, and appeared in hardware stores, plumbing supply companies, and any other such place where hard working men gathered to buy or use tools. These were almost exclusively male environments; women would rarely see this pinup art. It was risque or even vulgar, and was highly unsuitable for polite company.
A man didn’t have to look too hard to find his favorite fantasy illustrated by pinup artists like Petty. Do you want your knob fondled and polished? A “Petty Girl” is waiting! She’ll fondle your hard shaft and polish your knob with a huge smile on her face, which was emphatically not something your wife or girlfriend could be counted on to do in that more repressed era.
As an advertising strategy, having famous artists make porn featuring your products was brilliant. Working men in those days weren’t necessarily big readers. This was a smart way to advertise products for guys with dirty hands. At least you knew they were looking at your ads!
